The rage gets to my fingertips and passes. My heart is beating. I'm sweating. I think my face
actually twitches. Then I sigh, deeply, and sit back into my chair. The kettle starts whistling. As
the whistle builds it makes me feel hotter.
She plays "READY" on a double-word for 18 points, then goes to pour herself a cup of tea. No I
do not want one.
I steal a blank tile from the letter bag when she's not looking, and throw back a V from my rack.
She gives me a suspicious look. She sits back down with her cup of tea, making a cup-ring on the
table, as I play an 8-letter word: "CHEATING", using the A of "READY". 64 points, including the
SO-point bonus, which means I'm beating her now.
She asks me if I cheated. I really, really hate her.
She plays "IGNORE" on the triple-word for 21 points. The score is 153 to her, 155 to me.
The steam rising from her cup of tea makes me feel hotter. I try to make murderous words with
the letters on my rack, but the best I can do is "SLEEP".
My wife sleeps all the time. She slept through an argument our next-door neighbours had that
resulted in a broken door, a smashed TV and a Teletubby Lala doll with all the stuffing coming
out. And then she bitched at me for being moody the next day from lack of sleep.
If only there was some way for me to get rid of her.
I spot a chance to use all my letters. "EXPLODES", using the "X" of "JINXED". 72 points. That'll
show her.
As I put the last letter down, there is a deafening bang and the air conditioning unit fails.
My heart is racing, but not from the shock of the bang. I don't believe it - but it can't be a
coincidence. The letters made it happen. I played the word "EXPLODES", and it happened - the
air conditioning unit exploded. And before, I played the word "CHEATING" when I cheated. And
"ZAP" when my wife got the electric shock. The words are coming true. The letters are choosing
their future. The whole game is - "JINXED".
My wife plays "SIGN", with the N on a triple-letter, for 10 points. I have to test this. I have to
play something and see if it happens. Something unlikely, to prove that the letters are making it
happen. My rack is "ABQYFWE". That doesn't leave me with a lot of options. I start frantically
chewing on the B.
I play "FLY", using the L of "EXPLODES". I sit back in my chair and close my eyes, waiting for the
sensation of rising up from my chair. Waiting to fly.
Stupid. I open my eyes, and there's a fly. An insect, buzzing around above the Scrabble board,
surfing the thermals from the tepid cup of tea. That proves nothing. The fly could have been
there anyway.
I need to play something unambiguous. Something that cannot be misinterpreted. Something
absolute and final. Something terminal. Something murderous.
My wife plays "CAUTION", using a blank tile for the N. 18 points.
My rack is "AQWEUK", plus the B in my mouth. I am awed by the power of the letters, and
frustrated that I cannot wield it. Maybe I should cheat again, and pick out the letters I need to
spell "SLASH" or "SLAY".
3